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and water flow

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[06 Apr 2005|03:19pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

this is dedicted to our country...

oh say can u see,
that our country is gay
n why do we have presidents
when no one listens anyway?
while so stupid we hail
when we think the worlds beating
n when u think it's good
it really isn't
all their goin to do,
is screw u over
oh say does that suck really
dont tell me that im wrong
n the land of the dumb
we'd like to drop a bomb

take away the pain

blink 182 have called it quits.... :( [22 Feb 2005|04:42pm]
[ mood | sad ]

OH MY GOD!!! .... i want to soooo cry right now.

"For over a decade, Blink-182 has toured, recorded and done non-stop promotion all while trying to balance relationships with family and friends.

To that end, the band has decided to go on an indefinite hiatus to spend some time enjoying the fruits of their labors with their loved ones. While there is no set plan for the band to begin working together again, no one knows what tomorrow may bring."

im in complete shock! i can't believe this. yes they do have a families and children to go back to. and they're people just like us. so i understand that part. but they are such a good band. and they have a high point. i guess that's a good way to go out.... on top. it's just sad to see them gone. that they are over with. :( at least they played good and give the fans fucking awesome music to listen to .. and always listen to. no more sexy mark and tom! :(

2 still shot me down| take away the pain

precious suicide [02 Feb 2005|09:32am]
[ mood | creative ]

your precious suicide
you no longer have to hide
and no one will even notice
that you lie dying
and no one will even care
cuz you are lost inside
trapped in your own world

you slit your wrists street long
and the blood will stain the floor
but isn't it told, that blood turns orange
after you wash it a couple times
that will be the last
of your suffering
and pain will melt away
and you'll finally feel safe

they don't even have a clue
cuz you smile to hide all the pain inside
the ones that you loved before
will run away and cry
but you don't think they'll be
crying for that long
they just don't have the heart
cuz they don't approve of the way,
you left the world

your precious suicide
you no longer have to hide
and no one will even notice
that you lie dying
and no one will even care
cuz you are lost inside
trapped in your own world

your precious suicide
you no longer have to hide
and no one will even notice
that you lie dying
that you lie dying
that you are dying

you no longer have to hide
it's your precious suicide

take away the pain

kurt cobain [18 Jan 2005|01:43pm]
[ mood | content ]

take away the pain

on the edge [10 Jan 2005|01:14pm]
[ mood | listless ]

there's always something missing
in the back of your mind
you don't know what it is
but it comes closer with time
you wish that everything was okay
but something telling you different
and you want nothing more then to find
tell me that you feel this sometimes
that im not the only one with this in mind
im trying hard to give what needs to be done
im hanging on the edge of this again

take away the pain

sally's song [13 Nov 2004|07:26pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think it's not to be

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last

And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one

My dearest friend, if you don't mind
I'd like to join you by your side
Where we can gaze into the stars

And sit together, now and forever
For it is plain as anyone can see
We're simply meant to be

take away the pain

life and death [24 Oct 2004|07:01pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

i feel like im dying!! my ashama is so bad right now. it's not even funny. i had an inhaler, but i used it all. and my mom was going to call it in, but couldn't. she went to the women of faith thingie minnosota. and i didn't need to then, but i should have asked for it the other day when my mom said to ask my dad. damnit. so my dad just ordered a rush order on it. cuz im in dying need of it. no laughing matter at all. life and death here people.
gonna leave now to get it. bye.

take away the pain

weeee [23 Oct 2004|09:08pm]
[ mood | productive ]

no more seeing gc on the 7th. damnit! jenni's mom has to work. so now jenni is going with her friend. who's parents are letting her drive them to milwaukee at night. and she just got her fuckin' liscense too. that's shit. not fair!! my parents are too over protective!
well, im going to go back to making my website now. go check it out if you want.

take away the pain

gay ol' time [22 Oct 2004|03:42pm]
[ mood | naughty ]

this is the day that the lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!!! hahahahahhahahahahahahhaahhaahha, okay, okay, i was just kidding there people. really i was. hahahhahahahha! ooooo i scare myself all the time.
okay, so i don't have to work today. i think i said that yesterday. and i got paid too. yippie! i went out and bought a new kevin harvick shirt. it's old though. yeah, it's like from when he won 2001 busch series. hahah. it's still hot though!! heehee. he's smiling on it. it's cute.
the baby shower is tonight at 10:30. fun, fun. we get pizza... and we all get to talk and have a gay ol' time with each other. oh boy, oh boy. nice.

2 still shot me down| take away the pain

baby shower tomorrow... [21 Oct 2004|04:34pm]
[ mood | weird ]

just some helloween dolls i made up

well, busy with work. i worked monday thru today. and im tired. i had to clean dinning. i hate dinning. but i guess it pays... so it's better then nothing. and most of the people that come in a friendly. so that makes the job easier. plus the people i work with are nice. it would just be nice if i didn't always have to do that damn dinning area. im sick and tired of doing it.

tomorrow night is lynn's baby shower. she's one of the managers there. and she's so short and has a good sense of humor. she's awesome!!! any ways she's 7 months pregnant, so we are throwing her a surprise baby shower. everyone is chipping in 5 dollars to get her a car seat, a big play toy thingie, and a bunch of clothes. so that should be fun. it's not until after closing hours. we're ordering pizza and soda, and just going to have a fun time. im looking forward to that.

i get PAID tomorrow!! woot woot!!! im so happy. i owe lyn 5 dollars for her giving me some yesterday for food after work. and then like a said for the baby shower i have to give them 5 dollars for that tomorrow. and then im buying black hair dye. fun, fun. im still deciding weather or not i want to go trick-or-treating this year. i don't know. i'll have enough money. i think. lol. cuz i also have to put 20 in the truck for gas, and like 10 for insurance. but yeah. i think that i get around 160 dollars. woot woot. nice money right there.

take away the pain

[14 Oct 2004|10:35am]
[ mood | content ]

hello. it's early. well, for me. i have to work at 11. yippie. no hannah today :(... she works the night shift. damn. oh well. i get to be home to watch qualifying. so all is well. yup. alex is working today, so i think that i get to be up front working the register. i like doing that better then dinning. dinning is no fun. dinning makes the working hours seem way tooooooo long. and the register is like ... woo.
im in the process of writting my ex-assistant pastor a letter. man is it hard. i keep crying well i write it. it's sad. why did he have to move? i was so close with him. i could tell him anything. and now... he's gone. he got accepted to the army as a capalain.(sp) it was his choice. and he said that the lord was calling him in that direction. just, why did he have to be moved so far away?!?!?!? i miss him like crazy. it's been like 6 - 7 months now. and i still bawl at is leaving town. sad ... uh? he was a good guy though. i just feel like a part of me left with him. the part that believes in god. you know? well, you probably don't.
went to aunt jerry's house late night and played cards with her. it's was fun spending time with her. she's a sweet ol' lady. i love her to death!
well, i think that's it for now. seeing that i have to go to work now. bye kids. talk to ya'll later. mauh!

take away the pain

it's murder, it's murder [09 Oct 2004|06:04pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

hello. got gc's cd yesterday. know almost all the songs already. they fucking rock. i agree with jenni that they are depressing though. but i love them. i both both of the cds. the death and life versions. it has a hidden track. it's good. and it has a live recording of the anthem. old song. yup. but i love them both.
im so god damn bored. everyone is probably going to south's homecoming dance, while im here stuck at home, cuz no one invited me to go with them. i went to last years homecoming with heather. wish i could have gone with her this year. damn. i don't even get to go to prom. i won't get to celebrate that. cuz im fucking homeschooled. this fucking sucks!!! i wanna go!!!! now im going to cry. and im serious. this is the part that i wish that i didn't choose to get homeschooled for.
okay im going to go mourn over the reason why i can't go to dances with people at school. bye now.

take away the pain

awesomeness!!! [07 Oct 2004|06:51pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]

hey there people. they changed the damn layout thingie here in the writting thing. i don't know what im talking about. im just confusing myself.
so im listening to benji and joel on howard stren. hahahha. it's funny. they have quite a sense of humor. hahaha. it's all good. hahahahhaahahahhahahahahahhahahahaha they were talking about joel doing hilary duff.... just cuz of the damn rumors that are out there. poor guy. it's just fun to make fun of them. hahahahahahaha. okay. im just being stupid now. but it's cute. they are singing lifestyles. damn, this is an old song. they live in california and they live on the same street. hahaha. that's cool. it's all good. yup.

take away the pain

it's been a while... since i've been gone [06 Oct 2004|12:21pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

well, im at the library. fun, fun. by myself. just thought i'd pick up some books to read. and im bored. ha. i should call jenni and see what she's up to. maybe she can do something. yeah. that would be fun. i'll do that when i get back at home. yup.
i get paid on friday. yay! woot woot. and then i need to pay jenni for the ticket that she bought for me. im going to see GOOD CHARLOTTE!!! woot woot. hooray!!! i can't wait to see them again. it will be my third time? at least i think so. and then she invited me to go with her to see simple plan. but i don't know if im going to go. hmmmm... it was orignally planned that i was suppose to drive there, cuz it was for a friend's birthday present. but my dad won't let me drive. cuz it's on a school night, and he doesn't want me driving in milwaukee late at night. so that's off. woop de do. but im still thinking about it. then i have to get both of my friends ashley s and ashley g birthday presents. cuz ashley g's is today and ashley s' is on sunday. so yeah. i'll be late on ashley g's present. but at least im getting them something. does that count?!?! hmmmm, i don't know.
well, i guess that's it for now. goodbye now kids.

take away the pain

...what a day... [19 Sep 2004|06:44pm]
[ mood | drained ]

well, well...
there's really nothing new. ..went to church this morning like any other sunday. went grochery shopping with mom and the twins. fun fun. watched the race. jamie got 5th, harvick got 10th. but that all doesn't really matter anymore, cuz of last week not getting in the top 10 of points, for either one of them. so yeah. but jamie is still 11th in points, and harvick is 13. harvick went up one. so i guess it counted for something. bush won, that fuckface. i hate him. he should have been booed like last time he won. but oh well. that's the way it goes.
don't have to work tomorrow. im afraid to go in, to tell you the truth. i don't know. im a chicken i guess. yup. it's all good though. i get to see simple plan when they come to town. or around my area that is. cuz who would ever come to fuckin' sheboygan. though jars of clay did come once. that was fun. someone big coming here. well, big to me, and big to people who like christian music. well, actually i only like them. ha. and i don't really listen to them all that often anymore to tell ya the truth. okay, either simple plan, good charlotte, or something like that. i don't know. i would love to see green day. that would be awesome, seeing that i've seen good charlotte 3 times already. so i would be nice to see someone else for a change. though i have seen mest once. but it's all good.
has anyone seen the new simple plan video?!?!? it's fuckin' awesome as hell. pierre and david. woooooooooooo are they hot as hell. but then again, that's my own opinion. everyone has their own. so yeah.
kaite is screaming her head off, cuz she doesn't want to leave. she slept over last night, of course with her twin sister. but they're just leaving now. and she doesn't want to go. it's ridiculous. i'd love to leave. hahahahahahhaah! that's a good one... right?!?!?
okay now kids. i think that im going to go now. goodbye.

take away the pain

busy, busy [18 Sep 2004|05:57pm]
[ mood | confused ]

so. it's been a couple days. busy, busy. work is a pain in the ass. my boss told me if i don't get my act up, i'll be fired in a week. so, yeah. it's their one week check up thingie. i've been working for a week now kids. a week. okay actually four days to be exsact. but you get what i am saying. yeah. but i think that's shit. i mean come on now. it's not going to be perfect the first week that im there. so i want to socialize with the co-workers. hell, i don't have any friends. so i want to make some. homeschooling is a bitch. you don't socialize with many people when you are, when you're me at least. cuz remember, i push people away.
but anyways, i cried when she told me that she was dissapointed in me. and that she thinks that i can do better. hmmmm, damn. im a cry baby i know. you don't have to tell me. i guess im a bit emotional when it comes to that stuff. i thought i was doing good. and i had a good mood from it too. but now, i'll go there on tuesday thinking that im not going to do good enough and work toooooooo hard. but yeah. im a shithead.
you're just a fuck, i can't explain it cuz i think you suck

take away the pain

ahhhh damn livejournal!! [15 Sep 2004|05:35pm]
this is really starting to piss the shit out of me. this is the fifty thousandth time that i have written this. and im so sick of this journal, it never works!!!!
so anyways as i was saying... work is okay. got to work up front. cleaned trays. wipped the windows. filled the ice thingies. made sundaes and cones. fun, fun. yup. i work on friday and saturday too. i guess that im taking over for hannah on saturday morning. im opening. i get to go in at 9. and culver's doesn't open til 10:30. so hmmm, fun, fun. i guess. i have off tomorrow. so i probably will have to cut the grass unless it rains.
take away the pain

ahhhhhhhhhhhh [15 Sep 2004|05:30pm]
okay, so my journal is pretty much fucked up right now. and is putting things in like fifty thousand times. and is pissing the shit out of me. hmmm grrrrr... i just wanna scream at this god damn thing!!!! ahhhhh! 'STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!'
work is good. worked at the regeister. fun, fun. cleaned the windows, cleaned the trays, walked around, put ice in the soda thingies. i have off tomorrow. which then means i have to cut the grass, unless of course it rains, like it is right now. i smelled the rain. yup. i walked up the stairs from the basement and smelled the rain. hahaha. im a retard.
so anyways, im done now. leaving. bye.
take away the pain

my list. [14 Sep 2004|10:17am]
1. im fat
2. im loud
3. i cry all the time. sometimes not knowing why i do
4. im a depressed all shit
5. i have a job at culver's
6. im 17 years old
7. my birthday is on january 1st... yippie do da.
8. i live with my parents
9. i like punk music, rock music, and alternative music.
10. i love good charlotte with all my heart!
11. im VERY opinionated
12. i don't have any friends.
13. im a loner
14. im a loser
15. i love hello kitty
16. i have a mood disorder
17. im a parinoid little person
18. i love pepsi
19. im getting a tattoo when i turn 18. not sure what it will be
20. i HATE politics.
21. i don't want bush to win, if anything kerry should.
22... the list will be continued later. i have to go to work now. first day. ahhhh!
3 still shot me down| take away the pain

15 ... 15! that's it. damn... [13 Sep 2004|04:18pm]
[ mood | drained ]

hello everyone. how are you? im just peachy. yesterday i went shopping with ashley gehr. we went to look for her a dress for homecoming. i wanna go. i miss those things. those were the fun parts of being in school. you don't have dancing when you are a homeshooler. so yeah. i might ask ashley see if she can invite me. sounds selfish, but i wanna go. i wanna see people that i haven't seen in a while. ...yeah!
so there's nothing really going on around here. just have to start the first day of work tomorrow. at 11. culver's. woot woot. wonder if anyone i know is going to come and see me. not that anyone would want to. but ya'll know what i mean.
oh damn. i missed the making of the video for predictable. so it's on tonight, supposively. i heard the other night it cut off into another program. how sucky that had to be for people.
so last night i went to sleep at 3pm. woke up at 8pm. went back to bed at 10pm. woke up today at 12pm. hmmmm, think that i like sleep? yeah, and i still feel tired. hmmm. i don't know. my body is weird.
racing, jamie mcmurray ALMOST got into the top 10 of points. he was 15 out of it. 15! that's it. that's all. damnit! that sucks big time. wanna hear how much of a loser i am? i cried. I CRIED becuz of it. damn. what a loser, huh? yeah. that's what i thought. but hey. he was so damn close. 15. damnit. poor guy. kasey kahne too. damnit. poor guys. harvick was pretty calm with getting 15th in points. he's like, 'you get what you get, there's alway next year'! holy shit. you would expect him to get all flamed. angered. you know?!?! but it was the other way around. jamie was mad. harvick was cool. calm. what the hell?!?!? that's just weird. but oh well. now it's just racing for fun for them. hopefully jimmie johnson can get back up there in the points and win the championship! that would be awesome for him. i would like it too!

3 still shot me down| take away the pain

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